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Introversion and the perfect chocolate cake

Self Care

There are many assumptions made about introversion and if you are an introvert, you will be familiar with them.

One assumption is that because we don’t socialize as much as our extraverted counterparts, we have hours and hours of leisure time. Spent at home. Doing absolutely nothing. Agreed, we introverts can happily devote multiple hours to doing not very much at all. However, many of us choose to spend our leisure time doing something we genuinely enjoy, that we have an aptitude for and that others might consider work.

Then there are introverts like me, who don’t seem to have an aptitude for anything in particular. I seem to spend a lot of my leisure time trying new things, but nothing seems to take. At least not yet. I firmly believe however that there are some skills that really should have improved by now given the amount of time I have invested in trying to improve them. And yet…

So here they are…the things I want to be great at, and believe I should be great at, but clearly aren’t.

Baking
There something about the chemistry in baking that eludes me. You know those amazing cooks that can cook by instinct? I’m not even close. Even when I diligently follow the recipe, something goes awry. The one success I had was when I (somehow) made a perfect soufflé in a very dodgy oven. Can I replicate that now with a decent oven? Not a chance. My life is seemingly an endless stream of unrisen loaves of bread, too-soft cookies, and over-baked cakes. Still, I persist in the hope that the perfect chocolate cake will one day, materialize from my oven.

Knitting
My entire history of knitting is riddled with dropped stitches and half-used balls of wool. My mother can knit with her eyes closed while cooking a casserole and still produce row after row of perfect stitches. Frustratingly, I haven’t even mastered the basics and it’s not for a lack of trying. Stupid hands and brain.

Making a really good cup of tea
There really is no excuse for this one. I have generations of English heritage behind me. The Brits practically live and bathe in tea. Tea-making is a skill that I should excel at, it should be in my DNA, and yet…some five-year-olds can make a better cup of tea than me.

Home decorating
You’d think that for all the time I spend in my own house that I would have successfully decorated it to within an inch of its life by now. Alas, no. I buy the home/garden magazines, I think I have a pile of them somewhere devoted just to bathrooms. I can put together an stylish outfit without really thinking about it, but I can’t seem to sort out my living room. Or dining room. Or garden. In my defence, my office is probably the only space that accurately reflects my personal taste. I guess that will have to do for now?

Singing
I have zero desire to sing in front of others but I would dearly love to be able to hold a tune in the privacy of my own shower. I find myself singing a lot around the house, so much so that I should have mastered breath control, have perfect pitch and a much better recall of the actual lyrics. Nope.

Perhaps I should just accept that I’m never going to be proficient at these things and stop trying. There is the stubborn part of me that thinks it would be defeatist if I did. I think everyone wants to be truly great at least one thing and let’s face it, introverts arguably have the time to invest. Should we feel bad if we never conquer our personal Everest?

The more important question is this – is my introversion actually holding me back? It could be argued that taking a class in any of the above things could vastly improve my abilities and thus improve my personal satisfaction.  Of course, I don’t want to take a class because that will involve, you know, being with lots of other people. Is my aversion to learning in a public environment greater than my desire to excel?

I will continue to ponder these questions as I binge-watch Orange Is The New Black and eat some (store-bought) donuts. I’m actually pretty good at these two things, no classes required.

Over to you! Is there something you want to be better at but your introversion is holding you back? Feel free to share in the comments below.

Quiet ways introverts can make powerful statements

Self Care

This morning I woke up feeling powerless. Yesterday I watched vigilantly as the 2016 US Election results rolled in. I watched as the blue numbers increased and red numbers even more. By the time the result was clear I was bewildered.

I won’t enter into a discussion here about why the election result makes me feel anxious, unsafe, and angry because if you also feel this way you’ll understand why. If you don’t feel this way, it’s likely you will want to tell me why I shouldn’t. With all due respect, my feelings are valid and I won’t be told otherwise.

In the short term, it’s difficult to be pragmatic about what the election result will cost the environment, women, people of color, immigrants, the LGBTQ+ community, the disabled, and others whose futures have been put at risk.

I can’t be pragmatic right now because I need my feelings. My feelings are what is going to drive me forward, to continue to speak up, and to try and make a difference, even it’s a small one.

As an introvert, it’s times like these where being quiet can feel like an impediment. I wanted to write this to demonstrate that it isn’t. In fact, quiet reflection can result in a measured, intelligent response to a situation.

If you’re an introvert who feels powerless and wants to change that, there are many things you can do to have your voice heard. There are many organizations who want to hear from you, who will take strength from your support. Your very presence matters.

Here are some organizations you can donate to or become a volunteer with:

National Organization for Women  now.org
Planned Parenthood https://www.plannedparenthood.org/
National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) http://www.naacp.org/
Black Lives Matter http://blacklivesmatter.com/
Immigrant Solidarity Network http://www.immigrantsolidarity.org/
Center for Constitutional Rights http://ccrjustice.org/
Amercian Civil Liberties Union https://www.aclu.org/
Immigration Center for Women and Children http://icwclaw.org/
National Immigration Law Center https://www.nilc.org/
The Ali Forney Center (for homeless youth) http://www.aliforneycenter.org/
Disability Rights Education and Defense Fund https://dredf.org/
Autistic Self Advocacy Network http://autisticadvocacy.org/
Rape Abuse Incest National Network https://www.rainn.org/index.php
The Human Rights Campaign http://www.hrc.org/
Southern Poverty Law Center https://www.splcenter.org/
The Trevor Project http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The National Center for Transgender Equality http://www.transequality.org/
The National LBGTQ Task Force http://www.thetaskforce.org/
Next Gen Climate https://nextgenclimate.org/
Friends of the Earth http://www.foe.org/
Sea Shepherd Conservation Society http://www.seashepherd.org/
Natural Resource Defense Council https://www.nrdc.org/

You can also do the following simple things:

  1. Donate food or clothes to food banks and local charities, and volunteer there too if you can.
  2. Write to your Representatives and when I say write, I mean actually write, don’t email. Physical letters have to be opened, read, and then saved into digital format. Be a pain in the butt!
  3. Subscribe to your local press and become familiar with local issues. Taking action in your community is one of the most important things you can do.

Even if you make one simple gesture, it will count! Thank you for reading.

An introvert behaving badly or, the day I was a plus-one

Self Care

A friend of mine, needing a plus-one for a Saturday wedding asked me if I would like to go. I should preface my response by saying that I was asked the day before which would normally illicit a “Hell no!” but as I was in my ‘Carpe diem/every day is an opportunity/I love people’ phase, I said yes.

And so begins the sad and sorry tale of an introvert behaving badly. Or, the day I was plus-one at a wedding.

The day began beautifully. In the morning, my friend and I hot-footed it to Barneys where I picked up a gorgeous pair of Tabitha Simmons satin pumps. I planned to team said pumps with a cute dress and an Alexander McQueen bag. Outfit sorted, made-up and dressed, I WAS READY!

First to the ceremony, which was traditional and sweet, with lovely teary-eyed friends and relatives. I should probably mention that I didn’t know the bride/groom or anyone else there except my friend and two other people I had met through her.

We all trooped outside for the photographs and as we watched I happily conversed with other guests. So far so good – I was a socialising machine!

Onto the reception for pre-dinner drinks. This is where I began to notice the time drag as we waited in a too-crowded bar area to enter the reception room. My conversational skills were starting to wither as the crowd and the noise started to permeate my brain. However, I was buoyed by the knowledge that we would soon be sitting down and eating, and I felt some relief because the last time I checked it was considered bad form to eat and talk at the same time.

Things then went to from ‘meh’ to well, awful. I hadn’t heard the beginning of the saying of Grace. I had also failed to notice that everyone elses head was bowed and hands clasped in prayer. How didn’t I notice? Because I was too busy tucking into my entrée.

A swift elbow nudge from my friend alerted me to my error. I was mortified and as soon as it was appropriate I apologised to the entire table for my mistake. I received some warm smiles in response but it did nothing to deaden the anxiety I was beginning to experience.

The main meal came and went, as did the speeches etc. Within minutes of the music beginning, I found myself sitting entirely alone at a table that had just seated ten. With the three people I knew no longer in sight, I started to desperately alternate between looking at my phone/going to the bathroom/sitting there like a deer in the headlights.

My friend and I had earlier discussed a leaving time so I watched the minutes tick by. That time came and went, and down I descended into a panicky spiral of part-grumpiness for feeling abandoned, and part self-pity for pretty much the same reason. I can’t imagine what I must have looked like sitting there with my stony face. No wonder no one wanted to talk to me.

This is also the point in the story where I got it spectacularly wrong. What I should’ve done is necked a couple of drinks, taken a deep breath, and trotted out to the dance floor. But no, I was paralysed by my desperate need to no longer be where I was. It was these feelings that prevented me from thinking clearly and rationally. My friend came back to the table and I gruffly said something about wanting to leave. She told me I needed to chill (fair enough) and that perhaps it would be an idea to go and wait in the car. As my self-esteem plummeted to zero I realised I was being treated according to how I was behaving – like a child.

The drive back was excruciating. I had lost the power of speech and my friend’s body language made it clear she was not impressed with my behaviour. Once safely inside, I fell onto the bed and cried.

“Why did I agree to go?” I asked myself. But perhaps what I should’ve asked was “Why didn’t you have a strategy in place that would help you in this situation and not make you behave like a complete arse?”

Being introverted and knowing yourself is one thing. Expecting people around you to accommodate you is another. I learned another valuable life lesson from this experience – for crying out loud decline the invitation if you can’t trust yourself to be cool at a social event, AND most importantly call an Uber so your friend can stay at the wedding reception and have a good time.

Over to you! Has your introversion dictated your behaviour in a negative way at a social event? How did your deal with it? Feel free to share in the comments below.

October 10 is World Mental Health Day

Self Care

World Mental Health Day is observed on 10 October every year, with the overall objective of raising awareness of mental health issues around the world and mobilising efforts in support of mental health.

The Day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide.

WMHD has three objectives:

  1. Encourage help-seeking behaviour.
  2. Reduce the stigma associated with mental illness.
  3. Foster connectivity throughout communities.

The theme of this year’s World Mental Health Day covers “Dignity in mental health: psychological and mental health first aid for all”.

To find out more visit www.who.int(link is external) or www.wfmh.com

An introvert, self-talk and fabulous hair

Self Care, The Creative Introvert

I had an important conversation yesterday. It was challenging, insightful, and completely absorbing. By the end of it, I had a solution to a problem that had been bothering me all day and I felt a weight disappear from my shoulders.

The conversation took place in my shower and it was entirely in my head.

There’s a GIF that I absolutely love. It’s of basketball player Alonzo Mourning sitting on the bench at a game having a conversation in his head. I love it because you can ‘read his mind’ by his facial expressions alone. There is disappointment, a revelation, then acceptance, and all of this happens in a matter of seconds.

raw

If you’re an introvert, your internal dialogue is likely to be running hot all of the time. You might be rehearsing conversations you’re anticipating, brainstorming ideas for a project, solving a personal problem or perhaps simply daydreaming.

Liz Fosslien and Mollie Westin their article ‘6 Illustrations That Show What It’s Like in an Introvert’s Head’ for Quiet Revolution, describe the thinking process for introverts;

As introverts are thinking, they reach back into long-term memory to locate information. An introvert will often compare old and new experiences when making a decision, which slows the processing down but leads to carefully thought-out decisions.This means that introverts have an active dialogue with themselves and usually walk around with many thoughts in their minds.

There’s been a surge in interest in recent years about the benefits of mindfulness. I don’t question the benefits when it comes to helping manage anxiety and depression. An internal dialogue can easily turn into negative self-talk. Learning how to steer your mind away from that is an important skill.

Like a lot of people, I find mindfulness difficult because I find it almost impossible to reign my mind in. It’s something you need to practice, a lot. The thing is, I like to wander off and have a chat with myself. Some of my best creative work has come out of a wandering mind, especially in those moments as you’re drifting off to sleep. You’re still chatting with yourself, and then, there it is. The idea. The one you’ve been waiting for.

To me, mindfulness feels like being told to stay in one room, when all I want to do is explore the whole house. I want to understand the context in which the room exists in. An internal dialogue is my way of exploring the house.

To date, my internal dialogue has remained just that, internal. Perhaps one day I will have my conversations with myself out loud. My hope is that when people look and wonder who I’m talking to, they’ll also notice how shiny and full of volume my hair is.

That’s the thing about talking to yourself in the shower – there’s plenty of time for deep conditioning.

Over to you! How do you feel about your own internal dialogue or self-talk? Feel free to share in the comments below.

The case of the disappearing introvert

Self Care, The Introvert Lifestyle

Eight months ago, I ‘disappeared’.

In January I set my personal Instagram account to private and cleared out my personal Facebook page leaving behind only one previous post, which was this…

you-got-this

In the last eight months, there have been no coffee catch-ups, drinks nights, brunches or shopping trips with friends. My only significant social interaction has been with family. If I bump into a neighbour I’ll stop for a brief chat and then go on my way.

And that’s it.

To be fair, in the lead-up to ‘ghosting’ everyone outside of family I hadn’t been overly social anyway. The text messages from a small group of friends asking to meet up for coffee/drinks etc had gotten fewer and farther between (for reasons I will go into shortly), but I was at least ‘keeping in touch’ on Facebook and Instagram.

So why did I ‘ghost’ everyone? Well, it was mostly to do with timing. I had just entered my seventh year of wrestling with a long term illness and I felt physically and mentally drained. Even social interactions on Facebook and texting felt too much by this point. I longed to be left alone to ‘reconfigure’ everything. I wondered what would happen if I devoted the entirety of 2016 to my home, my work, and socialised only with my very nearest and dearest.

I wondered if I disappeared from my personal social media accounts, would it be noticed? Would I become more productive if I had the opportunity to really focus? Most importantly, would my health improve?

There were risks, most importantly to my mental health. It was possible that the relief of not having an active social life would be outweighed by boredom and loneliness.

I also risked alienating people permanently. I mean, would you ‘take back’ a friend who had ghosted you for a year or longer? What I was about to do could be called selfish and cold. By arbitrarily deciding to opt out of friendships without explanation, would I be waiving the right to reconnect in the future?

So what has happened eight months in? After not posting on Facebook for a few weeks, I did receive a couple of messages asking where I had gone. I didn’t reply. I sat and thought long and hard about whether to reply. I could have just sent a simple ‘I’m okay, just taking some time out.’ but even that seemed difficult, and to be honest unnecessary. I felt like I didn’t have to explain myself and my silence didn’t result in any further messages.

I suspected that my disappearance would go largely unnoticed because I had taken breaks before, and said as much, but I had never cleared out my account and made it so ‘final’. I also think that it says a lot about the quality of my relationships with others. Clearly, my friendship skills need some work.

Overall, things are travelling well. To be honest, much better than I expected. There was a glitch mid-year when my illness made a spectacular return, but it was relatively brief and was soon under control.  My days now revolve around writing, design, housework, talking to three cats, going for a walk, and cooking.

I keep in regular touch with family via text and family get-togethers. The social contact with family has turned out to be all I have needed and I’ve enjoyed it. Recently we were all together in the country.

My overall mental health and productivity are good. I am thinking more clearly and creatively than this time last year, and I have also set myself attainable goals. My physical health has also improved. I now have a normal sleeping pattern and I have lost weight from eating better and exercising more.

You might be wondering if I’m lonely. To be honest, no. I largely put this down to being an introvert. However, I am very mindful of the fact that if I didn’t have my family things could be different.

There is one outcome that I’m not yet able to articulately explain. At the beginning of the year, all personal social media interaction felt like a burden and it became something I wanted to avoid. And yet, I am thoroughly enjoying the interaction I now experience via Mirror Balls & Confetti.

Is it because I am talking with a like-minded community of people who have no expectation of meeting up for coffee or cocktails?

One thing is absolutely clear; being an introvert has made the last eight months possible. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to spend hours alone in a quiet space. I now decide who and what my energy is directed to more than ever. My mind has calmed significantly and has made room for creativity.

Oh, and my house is freshly painted and really, really clean.

Over to you! Have you ever ‘disappeared’ and not socialised for any length of time? If not, would you consider doing it? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Why introverts need ‘comfort zones’

Self Care

If there is one phrase I could happily eliminate from the planet without a second thought it is ‘Step outside of your comfort zone’. It is a phrase that is issued to many people in all walks of life but more so to introverts, quiet and reserved types, generally by well-meaning business and life coaches, self-help experts, in-house corporate trainers, and the like.

The reason it irritates me beyond comprehension is that it is predicated on two inaccurate assumptions. The first is that introverts always shy away from anything we perceive as even remotely challenging. It implies that introverts are otherwise incapable of making bold decisions and taking action. The second assumption is that our comfort zones are static, fixed in place, and never change.

With regards to the second assumption, when someone says “Step out of your comfort zone” I always think ‘Which one?’; comfort zones do not exist between two fixed points. My comfort zone can shift daily depending on a number of factors. These factors include my schedule, how much sleep I’ve had, my overall health (mental and physical), and my financial resources. There are days when I can comfortably take a meeting on Skype or in person. There are also days when I can’t imagine anything worse than taking a meeting on Skype or in person. That’s just the way it is.

With regards to the first assumption, I can only share my own personal experience of a time when I showily laughed in the face of my comfort zone only for it to turn around and bite me on my proverbial.

The thing is, I’ve been there. I’ve attempted a full-scale assault on what I believed to be my weaknesses in business (and sometimes in life) – my natural reserve and general discomfort with self-promotion, my loathing of networking events, and my disdain for aggressively pursuing business opportunities.

In 2012, I decided I was going to do things very differently with my then project – a fashion/style website. I decided to network, put myself out there, accept every meeting that was offered, self-promote, travel, and generally be the opposite of everything I had been up to that point.

I ended up in hospital after 18 months.

Okay, that was a little dramatic of me, but it is true. Months of travelling, networking, promoting, photo shoots, meetings, and interviews took their toll and resulted in a toxic combination of jet lag, insomnia, depression, and financial anxiety.

I had gone against every instinct I had and pushed myself to my limits. I had done what all manner of self-help business guru types would have me do and ‘stepped out of my comfort zone’, ‘thought outside the box’, and ‘tested my limits’ to see what I was capable of.

What I learned from this experience is that there is no ‘fake it til you make it’.

I faked it, and it didn’t result in a gradual transformation into an ambivert or pushing towards being an extravert. It didn’t increase my confidence, if anything it decimated it. It also resulted in my  project folding as I recovered from my collapse. The biggest takeaway of all was this; I faked it, but I never managed to convince myself.

I have now learned to honour and respect my instincts and not to second-guess them. Now I listen to myself, intently. I self-assess my ability to complete the tasks I need to. I stubbornly resist the temptation to be someone I’m not.

These days there is no ‘stepping outside of my comfort zone’ if I’m not ready to do so because ultimately it works against me and what I want to achieve. My philosophy now is to trust and know myself so that when I need to make a big move I am doing it because I really want to achieve the set goal and not because I feel I should be doing it.

I’m not afraid of the challenges ahead, and there will be some. The difference now is that I will meet those challenges on my terms and I won’t be defined by what anyone else thinks or expects.

And that’s the important thing isn’t it? Introverts WILL make the bold moves and make the big decisions if it’s important enough to us. Our instincts and self-awareness are strengths, not weaknesses. Comfort zones allow introverts to think clearly, to work out the best solution to a problem and if that isn’t a great thing for business and life, I don’t know what is.

Over to you! What’s your view on ‘stepping out of your comfort zone’? Feel free to share in the comments below.

Treats with style for introverts

Home Comforts, Self Care, Sweet Treats, The Introvert Lifestyle, The Stylish Introvert

When looking for treats for ourselves, we introverts tend to look to aesthetic pieces that will make our lives more comfortable.

For example, you could get rid of those hard plastic earbuds and replace them with super-comfortable (and oh-so-stylish) rose gold headphones that practically scream ‘Don’t talk to me’. Perk up your favourite chair with a faux fur pillow and a soft throw. Try a new skill and teach yourself how to cook amazing middle eastern food with a cookbook.

There are lots of little ways to treat yourself and here are some of my personal favourites.

Find something you love? Simply click on the item and it will take you to the online store for that item.

Get inspired with these treats!


Can introverts hustle?

Self Care

Hustle. It seems that word has been everywhere in the last couple of years. Being of English extraction when I first stumbled on the word being used in blogs etc I thought “Why am I being told to walk fast? What has that got to do with business?” I quickly realised my mistake after a visit to Urban Dictionary. It means simply; anything you’ve got to do to make money.

If you’re on Pinterest it’s likely you’ll have seen the motivational typographic quotes…

Hustle quotes

L-R Hustle Hard Girl by Planeta 444 on Etsy | Good Things Come to Those Who Hustle by Designs by Maria on Etsy | Dreams Demand Hustle by Chris Olsen on Society 6.

Am I the only one that can’t tap into this message? Why am I averse to it? Are you?

The ‘hustle hard, believe anything is possible’ philosophy.

Asking these questions reminds me of a chapter in Garance Dorés book ‘Love x Style x Life’. She writes about meeting style photographer Scott Schuman (The Sartorialist) who challenged her to think bigger. She had a blog that featured her illustrations, photography and writing but saw it as a hobby, not a business. Schuman declared she needed to believe that anything is possible. Garance writes, “To me, it was like meeting America.”

The ‘hustle hard, believe anything is possible’ philosophy is very American to me also. I was lucky enough to visit Los Angeles many times to promote my previous project, a fashion/style website. I learned quickly that the simple act of having a quiet drink in a bar of an evening is, in LA terms, a networking opportunity. My first visit I had delivered to my hotel room a bag full of DVD’s and CD’s that I received from someone I met in entertainment production, and bottles of wine from another person I met who ran the PR for a Californian winery. I naively thought they were lovely women I happened to sit next to in a bar and that we were just having a nice chat over a drink.

Nope. Although to be fair, one of these meetings did evolve into a friendship.

Any social interaction is a potential business connection, and you should always have a business card ready to hand out, be prepared to follow your new acquaintance on Instagram and Twitter immediately, and you MUST perfect your ‘elevator pitch’. Connect! Connect! Connect!

For an introvert, hustling is exhausting simply because you have to be ‘on’ anytime you are in public. You are the face of your enterprise and you mustn’t let it down with either your appearance or your attitude. You must be prepared to promote it and move it forward at any given time.

In essence, the hustle is all about noise and honestly, I don’t like noise. I’m also of an age where I am resistant to doing things on anything less than my terms. Perhaps that puts me out of the race altogether?

I can’t help but ask myself, is it possible to achieve my goals without having to fundamentally change my personality? I’m inclined to answer yes simply because my own goals are set with my personality and limitations in mind. To be honest, I don’t have a goal that I don’t firmly believe I can achieve. So I guess I have adopted at least part of the American philosophy.

Perhaps I can hustle part-time?

Over to you! What is your view on introverts and hustling? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

The romance of introversion

Self Care, The Introvert Lifestyle
romance
/rə(ʊ)ˈmans,ˈrəʊmans/
noun
1. a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.
2. a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement, and remoteness from everyday life.

And bang, there it was. I had to remember to breathe when I read the second meaning of romance above. It was like my own introversion had been defined right there. It was a big moment.

Okay, before I get into why I believe in the romance of introversion, it should be said I view introversion through very rose-colored glasses. I appreciate that not every introvert does so full disclosure – it’s going to get a little…touchy-feely.

Far from that old stereotype of the insular and inarticulate introvert, it’s my view that many of us are actually all about self-expression. Furthermore, we use our creativity to communicate with others. Every introvert who creates knows that when we write a song, paint a picture, or bake a triple-layered chocolate cake with Italian meringue butter cream we are exposing the deepest part of ourselves. We are holding out our hearts and saying “This is part of me and I’m offering it to you.” This is a fundamental way in which creative introverts communicate with others.

You might be thinking ‘That’s a bit deep. I’m sure I didn’t feel like that when I made that omelette this morning.’ And I’d believe you if you don’t take particular pride in omelette making. For someone who is passionate about cooking, however, it is a different story. The simple act of making an omelette is about using the best ingredients and tools, maximising the flavour of those ingredients and achieving the best possible result. It becomes even more important if said omelette is intended for someone else. People think that introverts don’t share and like to keep everything to themselves when, in fact, the opposite is true – we often long to share our passions and creations with others.

Within every introvert there’s a dreamer, creative, artist, scholar, performer, designer or thinker. If we’re not any of these things by occupation it’s likely they are part of our secret life. It’s the part of our lives we don’t necessarily broadcast, talk about on Facebook, or share with our work colleagues. When others are looking forward to having drinks after work, we’re eagerly heading off to indulge our passions. We can be so very mysterious…

I love this idea that when we allow people into our inner circle they can be blown away by our depth and complexity. I also love the idea of introverts being stoic and strong. I love that we have a place to go within ourselves to reset and recharge. I love that we don’t need the presence of others to feel fulfilled.

I love the idea of the creative introvert, putting hours and hours into their craft, unseen and unacknowledged.

We’re the dancers who spend hours in the studio after everyone has left. We’re the writers who painstakingly weave subtext into our paragraphs. We’re the chefs who have spent hours perfecting a signature dish and then send it out into the restaurant with a rapidly beating heart.

Most of all, I love how introverts can express intimacy so quietly that you need to know what you’re listening for to hear it.

When we share our favourite books, films, and songs with someone we’re telling them all about who we are. We’re inviting them to reciprocate, to share a part of themselves with us. It’s an exquisite dance that is private and intimate.

The romance of introversion resonates with me far more than the tired old trope of the loner introvert because to me, being an introvert is actually all about sharing and communication with a very special few.

What’s more romantic than that?

 

Over to you! I’d love to hear your thoughts on the romance of introversion. Does it resonate with you or do you have a different view? Feel free to share in the comments below.